National Tell A Joke Day
- Details
- Category: 99+1 Days of Summer
- Published: Monday, 16 August 2021 03:00
It's National Tell A Joke Day, and we've found a bunch clean jokes for you to share with your family and friends in celebration! (Wish we could say we came up with these ourselves!)
1. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (...Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.)
2. What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics!
3. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.
4. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
5. You know what they say about cliffhangers...
6. Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents!
7. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.
8. I got a new job last week as the new top dog at Old MacDonald’s farm.
I’m the new C-I-E-I-O.
9. What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.
10. Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
11. When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?
When it becomes apparent.
12. What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.
13. What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderpants
14. I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.
No pun in ten did.
15. How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet.
16. Why won’t skeletons fight each other?
They just don’t have the guts.
17. What does a house wear?
Address!
18. Why are toilets always so good at poker?
They always get a flush
19. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
20. You heard the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.
21. Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, ‘What’s your favorite kind of music?’
The other replies, ‘I’m a big metal fan.’
22. I tried to catch fog yesterday.
Mist.
23. I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
But if anything, it made him more sluggish.
24. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
25. How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
26. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
27. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay.
You have my Word.
28. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
Ten tickles
29. Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
30. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much.
I told them, “Just you wait!”
